so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This baby is an asshole
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
