oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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