Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
