the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
