hotel room ftw
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I touched a dick in church today
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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