try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
