I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
