if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
