yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
