im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
