i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
