i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
