I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
