I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
