Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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