I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
