just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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