ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There are leaves in my underwear?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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