sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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