another moral hangover. fuck.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
