margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
