Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
