break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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