is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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