I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
