I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
