Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
