Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
