At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize