oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
