South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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