i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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