I'm gonna have a badass scar
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
