apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
