i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
