so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
