I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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