I can feel you judging me through the phone.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
