Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a waste of cheezeits
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize