6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
