Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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