I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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