if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Randomize
