the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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