I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
