i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
be right there i have to get my cape
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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