I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
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Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
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He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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