Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
