Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
