When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
