I'm really into asian looking animals
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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