Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
