I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
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