No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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