Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
