I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
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Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
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He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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