2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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