The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
