i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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