I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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