Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
