I wish i was in the wii world.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
