Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We left an ass print on the piano.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
