Are we in a gay sports bar?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
