I CAN MOONWALK!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
