You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
