Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
