i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think i have two assholes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
